My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
