Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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