mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize