I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
