Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
