Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
