fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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