i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
