i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
