I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
