I'm lost and stupid without you.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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