It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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