sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize