White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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