just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
