think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
