My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize