If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
