I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
