I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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