I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
