You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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