The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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