You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
