I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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