I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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