eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
