if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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