My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry about my life...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
