just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
