He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
