Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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