i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize