he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
