I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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