I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
