She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
