Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Buhtt sex?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
