Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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