Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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