Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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