Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
