i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
