is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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