He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
