He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
