eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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