i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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