Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
