you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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