my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
