Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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