sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
