he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Never underestimate the power of titties
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize