Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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