that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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