i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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