Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
