put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
